
Richard's daily rooster desk
Daily deals on extremely literal rooster products.
Every product is a rooster. Every title is a problem. Nothing here requires turning on incognito β though Richard understands if you do.

Loud Cock Energy Bluetooth Speaker
Loud Cock Energy Bluetooth Speaker
$49.99Richard's field notes
Today's Cock.
Tiny, furious, and somehow still the loudest shirt.

Tiny Angry Cock Tee
Freshly handled
Today's Hot Roosters
The roosters Richard is least ashamed of this week. Each one hand-inspected, then released into the wild of your shopping cart.
Browse by concern
Rooster Categories
The full flock
Roosters Richard Can Explain










Morning Wood Cock Chopping Board
The only morning wood you can serve cheese on.





Loud Cock Energy Bluetooth Speaker
For the friend who is, themselves, the loud cock.


The Cock Collection β Field Guide Poster
A taxonomy nobody requested.









Rooster concerns, answered
FAQ
Everything people email Richard at 1am. Yes, all of these are real questions. No, we will not stop.
Are these real products?
Yes. Every rooster is a genuine physical rooster product β prints, pillows, figurines, signs. Current items are moving through Richard's supplier checks before live checkout, because nobody wants a rooster that never arrives.
Do you sell live animals?
No. Not one. Zero live roosters. If you want a bird that wakes the neighbourhood at 4am, that is between you and a farm. We deal exclusively in roosters that hold still.
Why are they so cheap?
Because the joke is the brand, not the markup. Richard sources sensible rooster decor, slaps an unspeakable name on it, and passes most of the dignity savings on to you.
Hang on β is this a sex shop?
No. It is a poultry shop with a vocabulary problem. Everything here is safe-for-grandma decor. The only thing that isn't safe for work is reading the order confirmation out loud.
How much is shipping?
Nothing. Every rooster ships free, always β it's baked into the price you see. No postage surprises at checkout. Richard would sooner close the business than charge a customer for the delivery of his rooster.
Where do you ship, and how long does a rooster take?
We ship to the US, NZ, Australia, the UK and Canada to start, and shipping is free everywhere we go. Each rooster is made to order, so target delivery is roughly 7β15 business days: a few days of production, then standard post. International roosters may dawdle through customs.
Can I return a rooster?
If your rooster arrives broken, wrong, or somehow more cursed than advertised, email Richard and he'll sort it. Change-of-heart returns are handled case by case β see the Returns page for the unfunny legal version.
Is checkout secure?
Payments run through Stripe, so your card details never touch Richard's clammy hands. He sees what you bought and where to send it β nothing more. Your bank will simply note that you have, in fact, purchased a rooster.
Can I gift a rooster to someone?
Strongly encouraged. A rooster is the perfect gift for a housewarming, a promotion, or a friendship you'd like to test. Add it to cart, ship it to their address, and let the confusion do the talking.
What is the Daily Rooster Drop?
One excellent rooster deal, occasionally more, surfaced when Richard finds something too good to keep quiet. Join the drop and we'll email you the moment a worthy rooster lands.
Richard's policy
Funny names, clear photos, honest shipping, and no mystery poultry. If a product cannot be explained as a literal rooster, it does not belong here.